our lives can be broken down into phases. i personally feel that my life up to this moment (25 years) has encompassed many different phases.
a life within a life is a version of yourself that is motivated by different things, and a version of yourself that has different priorities. this is normal, it’s the way life works. you age and progress. puberty, university, adulthood, first jobs.
what i love about this is that you can make friends who live in these different lifetimes with you. some make it through all the way to different lives and others don’t.
one of my lives consisted of non-stop working. when i was near the end of my university degree, i would work 3-4 jobs on a full-time course load. i loved how busy it was. i glorified this concept of being busy. my whole mentality was that i was better than everyone else, ‘shame on you for not being productive' every waking hour of your day’.
i don’t regret my past mentalities because it wouldn’t make me into who i am today. i truly believe learning the hard way is the most impactful form of growth because you understand how bad it feels to reach a low.
my best friends (i met them when i was doing my undergrad) were very supportive during my time as a ‘boss-lady’ or whatever. they also were doing their own things and we could work together sometimes but i really drove myself into a hole of loneliness. i refused a lot of plans so i could work. sometimes i feel that i could have built more time into my days to fill myself with the warmth of the amazing friendships in my life.
i don’t know when it happened exactly, but i realized at some point in my second year out of university that i was seriously burnt out. i hit a wall. i couldn’t find the energy to really be a person anymore. work became harder and harder to focus on and i didn’t look forward to anything except the idea of sleep or really doing nothing.
so you reach the realization of burnout and there are two routes you can take. you can either continue to burn out or you can take action to make a change.
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