it’s been a while since i’ve heard from some of you… tell me what you’re looking to read about from me here.
making decisions is one of my least favourite parts of adulthood. as someone who is typically not picky, i dread the thought of option. what to eat, what to do on the weekend, what movie to go see.
i wanted to understand what it is on a deeper level that i struggle with when it comes to choosing. i don’t think its the actual act of making a decision but everything that comes after. that ‘what if’. what if i chose the other movie, or the other restaurant. what would that time have looked like. would it have been more enjoyable, would it have been worse?
this frame of thinking probably goes against everything you know me for. i’ve been working for a few years now on actively not getting wrapped up in the anxiety of things. i’ve been working on learning how to live. yet, this is one area that hasn’t really eased up for me at all.
i recently read this book called “a tale for the time being” by ruth ozeki. it kind of addresses and plays into the gravity that decision making can have when it comes to these macro moments in our life. saying or not saying that one thing. these small moments that stem from tiny decisions we make every second without realizing it.
the ‘what if’ of decision making can sometimes feel like a fork in the road. sometimes this fork is small, for example if the weather is looking like it might rain and you have the option to wear a skirt or pants. the prospect for comfort in your day can be split into many different options.
it rains or it doesn’t. you wear pants or you wear a skirt.
it rains, you wore a skirt and you’re sad.
it rains, you wore pants and you’re happy.
you get the picture.
‘what ifs’ can forge bigger forks in the road though. major life decisions like taking a new job, deciding whether to accept an apartment. things that would play a major role in your happiness and the course of life for you in the near future. sometimes these major ‘what ifs’ are no brainers. you’re unhappy with your job and you’re ready to move on or you’ve been accepted to put an offer on the apartment of your dreams. but other times they can weight heavily on you as well.
it becomes “what if my life would be better if i chose the other option?”.
when we think this we are probably overwhelmed by the prospect of the unknown or discomfort around one of the options. a majority of the time we have the option to choose between what is comfortable and what is not.
it is a lot of pressure to acknowledge that’s the position you’re in. but sometimes you need to try sitting in the discomfort of the what if. try it on. how does it feel, even if it feels unmanageable right now is there a way to work through it?
if it’s uncomfortable it’s probably for a reason. try to harness that and reel it in.
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🥗 lunches
🍲 dinners
🫐 snacks
if you want to keep in touch with me you can find me on pinterest & spotify.
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how to roughly organize your life → routines, budgets, careers, space, priorities
productivity → how to reframe a ‘bad’ day, planning vs action, how to focus, how to set yourself up for success the night before
recipes & food → afterglow eats, my favourite taco salad bowl, avo sunny-side up eggs on green