ask me anything ✨ here.
sitting in a jazz bar at 10pm on a thursday night was all i needed to remind myself of what passion looks like. watching people perform their art—especially when it’s really good—brings me to a fully present state. sitting in the jazz bar while i waited for my friend to get pizza made me realize i’ve been neglecting myself.
how can i have started therapy, work every day and journal and still be neglecting myself?
life can be so frustrating because when it feels good it feels really good and when it feels bad it feels worse than worse. why does it ebb and flow? why can’t it just be good all the time? what am i doing wrong?
periods of dark inner turmoil often sneak up on me through exhaustion and internal disappointment in myself and where i am “at” in my life.
when things feel bad, my deepest insecurities come to the surface. on one hand, i’m faced with new topics to discuss in therapy but on the other, i am frustrated at this cycle i can’t seem to break.
when things feel bad, i feel alone despite having an amazing support system. when things feel bad, i feel that my friends hate me & i feel forgotten. when things feel bad, doing anything beneficial for myself like going on a walk seems like an impossible task. when things feel bad, i feel that i’m failing professionally.
when things feel bad, getting out of bed in the morning is a battle. but i’m a morning person, so late starts just perpetuates the cycle.
then one evening, i tell myself that tomorrow will be the day that i wake up early. and i do. then i start the process of feeling better—usually followed by a massive clean of my space.
when i’m going through these periods i want to be able to accept that i’m going through a tough time. i want to just give in and let go and trust that when the time is right i’ll feel better. i find it hard to do that in these periods because i just feel so bad and so low that accepting that is painful. but it’s also tiring trying to not feel low when i know nothing will come of it in the moment.
i just got out of this period, as i’m writing this, i think it’s the first day i’ve felt human in a while. here are some small things i noticed (kind of) helped through this period:
start your day with a healthy meal. healthy doesn’t have to mean elaborate. think → 2 eggs, and toast with peanut butter
try to listen to neutral music. i was opting for bossa nova or fall jazz playlists.
if you feel restless and anxious in your current state, force yourself to go for a walk. it will really help, i promise.
when you feel like you might be regaining the energy to get back into the state you want to be in, set our your clothes for the next day the night before. it will help kick-start the process.
a playlist for your troubles :)
breakfast
pumpkin oatmeal pancakes
morning protein power toast
lunch
spicy tortellini soup
southwest crunchy salad
dinner
crockpot buffalo chicken & broccoli
the best healthy turkey chili
snacks
crispy salmon handroll
strawberry cheesecake froyo
the afterglow is light or radiance remaining in the sky after the sun has set & good feelings remaining after a successful experience. i want to work towards building that feeling into every day.
i’m hannah & every other thursday you can expect productivity and wellness stream of consciousness along with recipe ideas delivered to your inbox by 6am pst.
if you want to keep in touch with me you can find me on pinterest & spotify.
things you may have missed…
looking for something in particular?
how to roughly organize your life → routines, budgets, careers, space, priorities
productivity → how to reframe a ‘bad’ day, planning vs action, how to focus, how to set yourself up for success the night before
recipes & food → afterglow eats, my favourite taco salad bowl, avo sunny-side up eggs on green